"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace" From Ricochet to Redemption: How “my tears ricochet” Changed With Me
Revisiting our deep dive of "my tears ricochet" and how the meaning of the song changes with time
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This week’s episode: “my tears ricochet”
This week on AP Taylor Swift, we take on “my tears ricochet,” the gut-wrenching Track 5 from “Folklore”. From its funeral imagery to what it means for a tear to “ricochet,” we explore themes of grief, regret, and power dynamics. Whether this song is about romantic heartbreak, a friendship gone sour, or even a toxic job, we explore why this song resonates so deeply with so many, and what it means for each of us.
🎧 Listen above and ⬇️ scroll below to read Jodi’s new perspective on this song since its original recording.
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📜 This Week’s Extra Credit by Jodi
I think I might be psychic.
That, or I’m really good at giving myself advice before I need it.
Case in point: In our “my tears ricochet” episode recorded in September 2024, I made this comment at the end of the episode:
Two weeks after our “my tears ricochet” episode aired in December 2024, I was laid off. That job did not last forever because, well, capitalism.
Listening to this episode just after my layoff—and again six months later—I am struck by how the meaning of “my tears ricochet” has evolved.
At the time of my layoff, the song reflected my own sadness and anger: “Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe /All the hell you gave me?” I couldn’t see past the immediate sense of loss and frustration that reverberates through the lyrics and the music. But take, for example, how these two lines evolve:
We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean
Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring
Back in December (not back to December, natch), I was gathering stones to throw given how angry and hurt I was.
Six months later…
Now, it turns out those stones are diamonds: the friendships and relationships I’ve rekindled since I spend so much time reaching out to people; the creativity I’ve been able to nurture and harness thanks to the time I have for art classes and the mental space I have to write; and the business I’ve built that never would have existed had I not gone through my layoff.
“Look at how my tears ricochet,” now, to me, means look at how I’ve turned my tears and sadness into something so much more powerful. How I’ve channeled this anger into something bigger and more forceful and meaningful than I ever could have done had I not experienced this grief, sadness, and loss. For me, that’s how my life has evolved and changed since I was laid off. For you, it might be how you’ve grown as a person after ending a relationship. For Taylor, perhaps it was how she’s turned losing her masters into changing the music industry.
How tears ricochet into redemption
I see more redemption and reflection now in this song. It still acknowledges the hurt and sadness and frustration of the loss, but the “ricochet” is what happens after the tears, or as a result of the tears—it’s all the things in life that never would have existed had I not been challenged or suffered these losses.
Back then, I heard a song about loss. Now, I hear it as a score to what I’ve gained and what’s changed and evolved for the better in my life. So much of that change is because, while I’m not psychic, I did take my own advice. I had an identity outside work long before I was ever laid off. I had this podcast, my tap classes, nonprofits I volunteer for, and boards I’m on. I built incredible friendships that I cherished and nurtured. I had watercolor classes, a passion for theater, and an ever-lengthening list of books to read. I had an event with a friend the night I was laid off, a board gathering the next day, and a podcast recording that weekend. My identity has not just been tied, but anchored, to all these things that have nothing to do with who pays me.
Gathering these stones long before I needed them allowed me to turn them into diamonds, not use them to throw at those who hurt me. Sure, sometimes I’d like to throw them. But that’s when I focus on Karma instead.