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"'tis the damn season" Deep Dive episode out now!
Holiday love stories abound, but what about the tale that Taylor Swift weaves in “‘tis the damn season?” In this week’s episode, we dive into the lyrics of this song to untangle the feelings and the actions of the story Taylor is telling. Is “You could call me babe for the weekend” a one time thing or repeated practice? Is leaving “the warmest best I’ve ever known” as sad as it seems? Tune in to find out what we think this melancholy holiday song is all about!
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Today’s Extra Credit - Brought to You by Jenn
Deep diving “‘tis the damn season” was so much fun because it engaged with one of my favorite things in literature - tropes! People love to claim that certain tropes are overused or are boring, and to those people I say, “shush!” Tropes and even entire narrative structures have existed as long as humans have been telling stories. Don’t believe me? Check out The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell and then let’s talk. Sure, sometimes it is fun to see something creative and new, but familiarity also has a place in storytelling.
“‘tis the damn season” plays with the trope of a big city gal going home to her small town over Christmas. Seeing as how holiday films are particularly big on tropes and dozens of new holiday movies are made every year, Taylor is playing with one of the most well known plot lines we have today. So let’s dive into this trope a bit more to explore why it’s so prevalent and what are the underlying messages.
The Ideal Man
Typically in these films, the “big city gal” falls in love with some guy from the small town. Maybe it’s a stranger or maybe it’s a childhood sweetheart (“And the school that used to be ours” places “‘tis the damn season” firmly in the second option). Either way, our protagonist often leaves behind a partner in the big city, so the film has the chance to compare the two romantic interests. The often stark difference between the two men highlights part of why this trope has such mass appeal.
The big city guy is usually always working, more concerned about appearances, and so pragmatic that all romance is lost. Whereas the small town guy is usually empathetic, working class, and an all around certified “good dude.” This is actually something that you see in general in romance novels - a love interest who simply cares. This ideal man cares AND notices things. In Taylor’s story, the narrator wonders “about the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m fakin’,” and that line alone is incredibly lovely and romantic.
I think this is one of the reasons why this trope is so popular. It can be comforting to watch story after story of a woman finding a man who simply cares and notices. In a busy world where it can be hard to feel seen and (if we are being TOTALLY honest) hard to find men who care and are gentle, watching that narrative play on repeat provides a comfort of its own. Honestly, after going to a college basketball game this last weekend where I saw fully grown men screaming profanities at 20 year-old students, I may need to watch a Hallmark film or two to heal.
Romanticizing the Small Things
The small towns in these holiday movies look cozy AF. Cute little restaurants, coffeeshops, ice skating rinks, etc. Everything is decorated perfectly. Everyone is wearing cozy sweaters. Our protagonist always meets a motley crew of quirky, warm, and interesting people. She usually has the best hot chocolate/coffee/cookie/meal she’s ever had in her life all while sitting near a roaring fire that has one of the most extravagant wreaths you’ve ever seen hanging over the mantle.
Usually the implication here is that small towns are “better” than the big city because these people actually slow down long enough to enjoy these parts of their lives. Everything in these small towns feels romantic because it is done with care and intentionality. In “‘tis the damn season” we see this with lines like “We could just ride around” and “To leave the warmest bed I’ve ever known.” Nothing in these particular activities is inherently romantic (ok sharing a bed maybe, but sometimes the house gets crowded around the holidays and you have to bunk with your cousins which is decidedly NOT romantic), however, these simple things become romantic because they are done with the right person and in no rush.
While we can’t change the entire concept of masculinity to encourage men to match the “ideal man” discussed above, I love this part of the trope because it speaks to something that is true and totally doable. Slowing down is good for you. Whether you are in a big city or a small town, go to your favorite coffeeshop/bookshop/restaurant and just enjoy being there for a bit. If you can afford it, become a regular somewhere and get to know the staff (shout out to my girl Brooke who sells me bagels every Thursday!). My husband even likes to put on a YouTube video of a crackling fire (since we don’t have a fireplace) and then relax on the couch with a good book. Whatever it is for you, I hope you are able to find 30 minutes this holiday season to do something cozy and life-giving.
A Happy Ending
Ah, the most important part of these movies (that Taylor rejects - or does she?) is the guaranteed happy ending. What I find particularly interesting here is that, outside of the genres of romance and sometimes comedy, women rarely seem to get happy endings. Black Widow sacrifices herself for The Avengers. Padme dies shortly after giving birth in Star Wars. Female characters tend to have unhappy endings as a way to move the narrative forward for the male protagonist. Yet in romantic films, women get a happy ending. They find a partner who sees them and loves them. They get a family (either reuniting with their birth family or a new found family). They find peace and purpose.
Taylor brought a slightly different take to this element, because in her story, our protagonist is leaving the small town:
“So I’ll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends / Who’ll write book about me, if I ever make it.”
We discuss this quite a bit in our Deep Dive, but I’ll just say that the fact that she has the agency and freedom to choose whether she stays or returns is, I would argue, a happy ending in and of itself.
After a bad day at work, a less than ideal visit with family, a bad date, or whatever it may be, the guaranteed happy ending is an incredibly satisfying part of this trope. You can’t fix all of the complexities of your real life in just 90 minutes, but you can get the pleasure of seeing someone else get a happy endings. And sometimes, that is enough.
Buddy the Elf
This is absolutely recency bias, but my husband and I watched Elf last night and I was struck with how much that film flips these tropes on their head. Buddy is a small town boy (I am assuming the North Pole is a small town?) who goes to the big city. He doesn’t need to go find Christmas cheer, because he brings Christmas cheer with him. What he DOES need is someone to help ground him a bit and help him navigate reality. One of my favorite things about the movie though is how simply wonderful he thinks everything is. From revolving doors to Christmas trees in storefronts, he is awestruck by the beauty and joy to be found in New York City. He falls in love with a woman who sees him for who he is and accepts him. He finds his family and even ends up with a new job that is a better fit for him.
This feels like somewhat cursed knowledge to see Elf in this way, but I bring it up because I think it shows that the parts of these tropes that we love and that comfort us are not bound to small town America. You can find people who see you and love you wherever you are. You can romanticize the smalls things and try to slow down a bit any time of the year. And the next time someone tells you that those Hallmark movies are bad or romance writers are lazy, you can tell them that until other genres figure out how to move the plot forward without harming or killing women, you’re fine just where you are.